Kick it up a notch, Mark!!

Bam!! Mark Driscoll, pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, just kinda opened a big can of whup ass on the American mainline church denominations on his personal blog. I have to say that I kinda get what he’s saying but in the end I have to reject it. I don’t reject it because it’s a really dumb rant. I reject it because it’s simply not manly enough. I sorta hear what Driscoll is getting at, but he simply lacks the volume and bravado that I need from a pastor in order to fully accept what’s being said. It gets back to the details really. If only his truck was a ’73 Ford, a much more studly year and make than his girly ’78 Chevy. If only he would have headbutted his son rather than taking his more passive approach with the “knuckle-to-knuckle handshake”. If our young reformed believers are really taking thier faith seriously, can’t they take a little headbutt every once in a while? Also, that picture he uses of Jesus on this post almost looks like a girl! What’s up with that, Driscoll? Where’s the Jesus that’s leaning out of a window of a monster truck going 90 MPH firing an assault rifle into the air and screaming “WoooHoooo!!”?

Until Mark Driscoll can step it up and bring us the “shock and awe” that I know is deep down inside of his studly soul, I’m gonna have to wait it out while I listen to my Ted Nugent records.


18 thoughts on “Kick it up a notch, Mark!!

  1. for the record jon, that whole post is drowned in sarcasm and I can’t really see where Driscoll is coming from because I can’t make it through his thick, macho act. but i do think that Jesus moster truck is awesome 🙂

  2. And all this from the same pastor who openly accused another prolific writer/pastor of beastiality recently. Man, I wish we could join him in some kind of ministry!!

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  4. please tell me you are purchasing said Jesus truck and subsequently going on tour with it. .. i expect to see it in the Del Mar parking lot this Saturday… don’t let me down, Zach. Seriously.

  5. one time i headbutted my father when we were discussing religion.

    he grounded me for a week.

    i gave him another headbutt when he said i grounded.

    then he grounded me for life.

    that was 12 years ago.

    i’m still grounded.

  6. finally, someone who realizes that the we need to leave the “love” part out of “tough love”! a man’s man who realizes the time for weak sauce “talking” is done! after all, doesn’t scripture say, “talk is cheap, but bullets are cheaper?” i’m pretty sure it’s in there somewhere. right around the passage where jesus says, “take care of my sheep. and by ‘take care’ i mean antagonize and belittle them.”

    driscoll chooses the path of a typical bully – after all, he chose some pretty easy targets. i’m a presbyterian (pcusa) pastor, and i’ve seen some pretty wacky stuff. but, from what i’ve seen, the vast majority of believers, even in this bound-for-hell-in-a-handbasket denomination wouldn’t call those things kosher.

    i must be some kind of rudy poo wimp, but i think people respond better to compassion than to verbal assault. my experience has been that the people who come up with these out-there theologies & practices are often operating out of a place of profound hurt and alienation. this kind of maniacal ranting will only push them further out.

    but, hey, that’s all stuart smalley psychobabble, right? i think a “pinfalls count anywhere” lumberjack match would probably settle this debate nicely.

  7. All Driscoll needs is a “God Hates Fags” sign hanging from his Jesus monster truck and he’ll be good to go. Oh yeah, and he needs to write a book that can kick John Eldredge’s books in the nads.

  8. i often times find myself sympathizing with what driscoll says, but, at the same time, hating the garbage that comes out of his mouth. while i share, loosely, the same theological convictions as driscoll, i can’t stand the way he grandstands and builds strawmen.

    for a dude who talks about the importance of biblical fidelity and an idea of biblical manhood, i don’t know if he could have a worse idea of what masculinity happens to be. but, of course, the whole thing where jesus is driving the monster truck has to be in the bible somewhere, so i could be wrong.

  9. You guys are hilarious, nothing ever makes the grade does it? Too manly? Too wussy? Too Caring? I especially loved the comment that Driscoll is taking the love out of tough love, have you ever even read the Bible? If not check out the Gospels and see how Jesus talked to the religious people of that day (I will give you a hint, whores and snakes come up often). After that read Romans 1 and let me know what love and wrath are according to the Bible. Paul says that God’s wrath is when he lets us fools do whatever the hell we want. Thats wrath, not love. Love is protecting us from ourselves, and calling things as they are. Hilarious.

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